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I lost my glasses in the ocean this weekend and am using my...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 08:38:33 -0400

I lost my glasses in the ocean this weekend and am using my backup glasses now. If you are in the ocean and find a pair of glasses, please turn them in to the ocean lost & found box near customer service, okay?

Note to people who like being able to see: the ocean is not the place for you.

8 Games on Impossible Mode - a new article from the nightmares...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:35:49 -0400

8 Games on Impossible Mode - a new article from the nightmares of Billy Mitchell.

That terrible 8-bit cop in a 16-bit game took me forever. I can’t imagine how long it would have taken me if I doubled his bits.

collegehumor: A Shy Love Affair - Andrew Bridgeman provides us...

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 19:11:06 -0400

collegehumor:

A Shy Love Affair - Andrew Bridgeman provides us with a college-ruled romance story for the ages.

Stumble it here!

I used one of these lame-o notes to ask out someone who then became my first girlfriend back in 6th grade. We went on one date (we saw “The Avengers” - the terrible one with Uma Thurman and Sean Connery, not the yet-to-be-released AMAZING version about superheroes hanging out) - where I spilled popcorn butter on my AND1 shorts at the beginning of the movie. It was probably the worst date ever. We also slow-danced to that Aerosmith Armageddon song at a dance.

What I’m getting at here is that pathetic repressed memories are my favorite things to write articles about. Expect one about the time I pissed my pants in the outfield of a little league game soon.

Buffy season 4 gets a lot of rightly-deserved bashing, but...

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:22:31 -0400

Buffy season 4 gets a lot of rightly-deserved bashing, but “Superstar” and “Hush” still make it way more entertaining than most seasons of anything.

Above: Emmy-nominated screenwriter (for “Recall”) Danny Strong.

I imagine I would’ve been a fan of the “house on...

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 20:28:43 -0400

I imagine I would’ve been a fan of the “house on stilts under constant threat by beavers” gag, although overall this sounds like the worst idea ever.

Whoa. Why did Santa give these children baby Jesus as a gift? I...

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:32:24 -0400

Whoa. Why did Santa give these children baby Jesus as a gift? I don’t think they’re ready for that kind of responsibility.

blogwell: susannawolff: collegehumor: Your Girlfriend’s...

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:32:02 -0400

blogwell:

susannawolff:

collegehumor:

Your Girlfriend’s Actual Seven “Evil Exes” - They can’t be defeated, only tolerated.

Stumble it here!

You should read this. Also, you should see Scott Pilgrim, because it’s great.

I LUV SCOTT PILGRIM

Weird. A love sword just came out of my chest when I read this article. Probably should look into that.

About 8 months ago, I put The Late Shift in my Netflix queue...

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:52:21 -0400

About 8 months ago, I put The Late Shift in my Netflix queue because I hadn’t seen it in a while and it seemed very appropriate. Naturally, everyone else did too, and there was a long waiting list for Netflix’s two copies of the movie. It finally arrived today! And I noticed this immediately…

ARZT WAS LENO. How did it take me this long to figure this out?

Your Pokemon Facebook Updates article is easily one of the funniest things I've ever read.

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 21:51:35 -0400

Thank you! Here are some way funnier things though: this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,...

5 Pokemon Facebook Updates I haven’t played a Pokemon...

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:04:00 -0400

5 Pokemon Facebook Updates

I haven’t played a Pokemon game since the original, so don’t expect any references past 1998 (or whenever it came out, but ‘98 just feels right). I will, however, be picking up Black & White when that comes out, because I want to see how Pokemon deals with the sensitive topic of racial segregation.

Digg it? If you don’t want to, no biggie. No pressure or anything, just thought I’d ask.

Out With the Old, In With the Nuclear

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 11:05:50 -0400

I’m endlessly fascinated with everything about the Cold War (favorite Cold War Wikipedia...

Battle of Karansebes

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:13:44 -0400

Battle of Karansebes: If I had to choose my favorite battle of all-time, this would be it.

slaughterhouse90210: “You know, that might be the answer – to...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:08:02 -0400

slaughterhouse90210:

“You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.”
— Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Friday Night Lights season 4 comes out today! And season 5...

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:40:01 -0400

Friday Night Lights season 4 comes out today! And season 5 starts soon! Don’t let my terrible doodles dissuade you - this show is the real deal.

Mortal Kombat Characters Invade Other Games - a new article,...

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:09:34 -0400

Mortal Kombat Characters Invade Other Games - a new article, combining Mortal Kombat and games that aren’t Mortal Kombat. I’ve had that first image of Raiden in Mario Kart in my head for months, and I was finally able to cobble together some other things to make it an actual article.

Let the rest of this post hereby be known as “Article-fest ‘98”:

YET ANOTHER DISNEY ARTICLE! Mulan has the single best Disney song ever, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.” Donny Osmond sings it. And it’s fantastic!

Also, here are some articles I forgot to post about due to crippling shame and other factors (all shame-based):

Ash’s Ark
The Horrible Truth
Paperboy is a Terrible Employee

“Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks...

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 23:51:23 -0400

“Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as “perception.” Yet you somehow brazenly declare that seeing is believing!”

-The Man in Black (Jose Chung’s “From Outer Space”)

5 Deleted Last Scenes from Movies

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:27:52 -0400

5 Deleted Last Scenes from Movies: susannawolff: (via collegehumor) If you ever wondered what would...

Just another regular ol’ sunset… ON MARS!

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 10:05:43 -0400

Just another regular ol’ sunset…

ON MARS!

Buffy is a great, weird show. Take these two shots, for example....

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 21:11:50 -0400

Buffy is a great, weird show. Take these two shots, for example. They happen within about 2 minutes of each other. The portly evil lunchlady turns into a thin man for no reason (and only for the fight shots).

Also, Jonathon tries to kill himself with a sniper rifle.

Naturally, Sarah Michelle Gellar believed this episode would help those affected by Columbine.

Meet Nate. Voted “Most Likely To Go Super-Saiyan On...

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 11:01:44 -0400

Meet Nate. Voted “Most Likely To Go Super-Saiyan On Buu.”